I wrote on my blogger on and off for the last two years of undergrad. I’ve detailed on there my trouble with work (most of those posts have been transferred over here), but there have been so many changes over the last few weeks that my brain can’t handle it all. My brain has been extremely overwhelmed and frustrated, starting with my husband moving to Detroit June 1st, while I moved into my friends house to be in her wedding. After that I packed up the several bags I had in Sun Prairie, Wisconsin and my whole life is now in Michigan. After being in the Madison area for nine years I feel lost. The worst part (for me) is I have to not only be in a whole new place with all new patterns, but Terry and I are living with his parents. So now my struggle is not only a new place, but also learning all over again how to vocalize my needs to someone other than Terry. Honestly, I don’t do well vocalizing my needs to Terry as it is, every day is a different struggle.
Additionally, I have been reading a lot of subject studies that indicate the transition to utilizing psychiatric medicine as a permanent solution might be wrong. The instance of illness has increased, the ability to deal with every day situations decreased, the thought is we have become a “nanny state”. People don’t learn how to handle their emotions anymore, there isn’t any knowledge of what kinds of emotions are in the normal realm of society structure. Some of this might be the “friendship” parenting that has happened over the last few decades, but a lot of it has to do with the drug companies & insurance in my opinion.
As a result I’m using this summer to develop new patterns, as well as transition out of medicine. I don’t sleep well, but seroquel is a sleep medicine. It could likely be a few more weeks before I’m able to sleep well again. I’m keeping my medicine around because the case studies I’ve read indicate that medicine is not and should not be the enemy, but only used when needed during episodes. I really like this particular line of thought. Plus, I have another month and a half before the real world starts again to ease into this transition and a really awesome support system that will be able to identify subtle changes. My fingers are crossed that this transition becomes easier. Tomorrow I get to go on a boat for the fourth of July. The nice part about moving to where my husband grew up is there is already a net of friends around that know my trials and tribulations and put up with me any way.