Little changes = big problems

With everything I’ve been through in the last year it’s all the little things that are really getting under my skin. This surprises me even though it shouldn’t. The hallucinations getting so much worse last summer, the fight with work, the fight to be able to finish school, the stress and ultimate elation of applying to grad school and getting in…none of that is as frustrating and awful as not knowing where the damn post office is located. Not only that, but not having enough gas to be able to find the post office without worrying about Terry getting back and forth to work. Being stuck at home, completing the little tasks I set for myself, stepping on dog hair while I’m cooking dinner…all of these things are more frustrating for me than any of those larger issues.

My sleep schedule is starting to settle where it needs to be again. That is the most important thing for me right now. My daily TV schedule is set as well.  Which is a whole separate problem. Today I went to fill out my tax paperwork & insurance stuff and the thought of missing the TV I’ve been watching nearly caused me to hyperventilate. Every night I ask Terry if I’m talking too much, how he thinks other things are with my mental state. I focus on eating, walking, and keeping a routine so much that I don’t know how well I’ll adjust in a few weeks when I need to be at work all day long again. I think I have to switch up my routine and stop watching all the shows before I screw myself up for school in the fall.

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