Asking my seroquel where it went is, of course, a silly question. For one thing, it’s an inanimate drug. For another I stopped taking it because of Beastly. Oh Beastly, just you wait until I can tell you all about the sacrifices I have made for you. Most of them will be incoherent, because I will likely scream them at you when I feel like crap, but they will be true. Each and every one. Until your dad says they aren’t. Then he’s right. Because he’s the sane one.
Anyway, the point of this post is not how sane or insane I will be when I ultimately tell my child that I went off of the medication that prevents hallucinations for their safety. The point is how much better I feel after only one day of having that medication back. When I saw the doctor a week ago Thursday they gave me risperidal. Which was lovely, and helped a little. When I saw the geneticist last Thursday I let them know about all the continuing problems, even with the risperidal. That doctor will forever be in my heart as the nicest doctor I have ever known. He told me that being off the medicine during Beastly’s first 10 weeks was great, but now there is no more development happening. And the risk of not having the medicine is so much worse than having the medicine. If there’s no me, there’s no Beastly. As a result I have gotten my seroquel back.
It feels like there has been a weight lifted off my shoulders.