Starting Fresh

The last few weeks I have been very nearly psychotic. There has been a serious debate happening in my head about whether or not I should go to inpatient care for my medication help after getting told on Christmas Eve that I would not be able to find anyone to take my insurance. Fortunately, it turns out my insurance company switched subcontractors so I have not only found a therapist I like, I also have immediately gotten into the psychiatrist. Last year was so frustrating, no one should have to go through the mess I was trying to handle during my first fall semester.

There has been good news on the school end of things too. I’m on probation for my GPA due to the C I earned in my inorganic class. The only punishment I’m receiving is my recruitment bonus is disappearing. Provided I get my GPA back up in the winter semester my situation will be reevaluated and I will be taken off probation. I passed the physical chemistry proficiency test so I only have one more proficiency class to take and pass. Plus, I’m now assigned to a lab so the stress associated with waiting to be accepted is gone. I know what I will be working on, and all of my classes pertain to my research. Which mostly means if I don’t manage to pass this semester I have no business being in grad school anyway.

I’ve decided to go completely digital this semester. I take hand written notes in class, but my texts are ebooks & the PowerPoint presentations will stay on my computer as well. If I’m going to embrace technology there is no point in half-assing. I’ll just get confused and fall behind that way.

Mostly I’m just excited to have a therapist that is willing to work with me on my inability to pass my tests. I studied for two weeks for the organic and inorganic proficiency tests and still failed them. There is a really high probability that the medication being incorrect is only part of the problem, and I’ve instead freaked myself out so badly about failing that my brain has decided that is the only option.