Social Media

Not that it much matters, but I remove people from my social media for three reasons. 1) they make me feel bad 2) I make them feel bad 3) they never post and I’ll hear about them anyway. It has very little to do with whether or not I like someone or if I want to keep in touch with someone. Right now I’d just like to stop wishing for some sort of accident to protect others from my continued existence, and that’s a really shitty place to be on social media. Especially when i’m constantly encountering my #1 and #2 reasons for removing people. For me Facebook is a place to keep in touch with people I rarely see so I can rejoice in their lives, I want to keep that a happy thing. I’ve been in a lot of pain for a while and I have that piece under control on my own, there is no need to add to the dung heap.

As silly as it sounds I really love hearing about what you eat, how your families are growing, the weddings you are in and plan, how far you’ve run, what memes you enjoy, and whatever else you want to share. Your triumphs make me happy. There have been studies that have shown social media makes people unhappy because they are comparing the humdrum of their lives to the best possible image of others. For me it is completely the opposite. Thank you, friends, for helping to lift the sadness for the time I spend on social media.

I don’t know what my Facebook looks like, but it is getting harder for me to reach out. The more time goes by the worse I feel and the more convinced I am that if I were to simply disappear life would be better for everyone around me. I contemplated losing the social media completely, but then I would lose the ray of sunshine from my friends list.

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