Life is what it is and other completely useless idioms.

Here’s the deal, every day of your life you have choices. There are good choices, bad choices, and choices that don’t affect anything important ever. There is also the ultimate choice, the choice you make when you decide if you’re going to pick the good choice or bad choice.

When I was younger the concept of choosing happiness was completely foreign to me. My bipolar brain did what it did and that was how it worked. If my brain said I wasn’t waking up for class or I needed to eat that next piece of cake I listened. For a long time after I was diagnosed with the multitude of mental illnesses it took to get to my real diagnoses of bipolar I really did believe that I had no choices. I had to indulge my brains every whim. This is a big fat lie. I am capable of forcing myself to get up in the morning most days. Not all, but most. I’m also capable of choosing to be pleasant on days when I feel like being a complete bitch. Again, not always, but most times. I have the ability to chose what I eat, when I go to bed, how I behave, if I exercise…all of these choices undoubtedly affect my happiness.

Now that I realize I have this phenomenal ability to be happy, no matter how I feel, I want nothing more than to pass this gift to other people. I’ve learned that the only think that really upsets me lately is people that choose to be angry and bitter. I know many people like this, and truth be told I think the reason it upsets me so much is because I was that person. The best advice I can give people who are unhappy is CHANGE SOMETHING. All it takes is a few small changes and a major attitude adjustment. Find a class you can really get into, a workout you like, a new hobby, anything that interests you would work. You just have to buy into the desire to be happy. Lose yourself in it completely.

This is the most important change I have made in my life. At first it felt like I was losing a best friend. The bipolar brain I possess had me so thoroughly convinced I wouldn’t survive without that depression and indulgence. A few years later I now know I don’t need any more than I have and I sure as hell don’t need that debilitating depression. I’m constantly finding new hobbies and interests. Most of them don’t stick but I have fun while I do them. Then I move on to another interest. Life is what it is. You don’t have control over anything but yourself and it is so important to exercise that ability. Do your world a favor and make this the year to stop negativity in its tracks. It’s not about other people, it’s all about you and your happiness. That’s my goal this year!

Why there is no perfect place, yes I know this is true
I’m just learning how to smile
That’s not easy to do
I know there will come a day
When we can leave and just go runnin’ away

Yes I know there ain’t no finish line, I know this never ends
But I’m just learning how to fall, climb back up again
I know there is nothing perfect, I know there is nothing new
We are just learning how to live together, me and you
You know I live for the day
When you say “Baby let’s just run away”

-lyrics from Everclear “Learning how to smile”

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